April 2009
1 post
Cheaters never prosper.
March 2009
24 posts
NOBODY FOLLOW LIPSTICKONACIG!
she is trying to get to 100 followers and is at 98. Don’t follow her! squash her dreams!
lipstickonacig:
Free isn’t enough. Denny’s would have to pay me at least 5 dollars to eat a grand slam.
I know a bowl and bag of weed that would beg to differ.
dc fyi
lipstickonacig:
listen, i’m going to throw something out there. don’t move to DC unless you’re a nerd. people are crazy nerdy here. if you walk into a DC bar with the desire to get shitfaced and talk about fashion week and rock of love, you’re in for a disappointment. because everyone else is going to want to get shitfaced and talk about energy policy and bobby jindal.
maybe when you go to your...
thingsthatannoyme
lipstickonacig:
when my boyfriend puts the peanut butter in the fridge. that’s not where it fucking goes!
thingsthatannoyme
Girls who announce when they are gonna take a dump.
my birthday by the numbers
lipstickonacig:
1- steaks eaten.
3- birthday cakes received.
7- birthday cards received.
36- “happy birthday” facebook wall posts (i judge my entire year based on this number)
0- number of sandwhiches you made me
100- number of sandwhiches you owe me in backtaxes
Reasons I Steal Your Internet Even Though I Have...
lipstickonacig:
1. I can. You have that shit unlocked!
2. Your shared iTunes folder has a shitload of music that I enjoy, but don’t want to pay for.
So thanks, “Dartmouth”-despite your apparent Ivy League education, your lack of common sense kind of makes you an everyday hero to me.
Ruth also enjoys stealing lunch money from kids at the local elementary school. Why don’t you tumbl about...
January 2009
14 posts
lipstickonacig:
Mark Wahlberg totally just threw Jeremy Piven under the bus with regards to his “mercury poisoning” on the Golden Globes red carpet. During an interview with Tiki Barber, he looked over at Piven and offered with a giant smirk his hope that his friend’s mercury poisoning “wasn’t contagious.”
Say hi to ya mutha for me
seven strangest holes in the world →
lipstickonacig:
spoiler alert: julia allison didn’t make the list.
Isn’t that the name of the group of 7 girls you hang out with?
lipstickonacig:
I have a phone interview for a job today. This is a first for me. On principle, I think I am going to wear something super slutty during it. Also, I’m going to be drinking a glass of cheap wine and watching porn on mute. If i get the job, it will be that much more awesome everytime I remember how I got it.
Ruth’s first interview involving a phone, possibly. However this...
the square root of three
lipstickonacig:
I’m sure that I will always be A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right, Why must my three keep out of sight Beneath the vicious square root sign, I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick, with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321 Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is...
December 2008
48 posts
is this for real? →
theruth:
rhodyram:
theruth:
My boyfriend started a tumblr for the sole purpose of snarking my tumblr.
It is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while.
this is definitely for real. my bf had been giving me shit for being a tumbltard for awhile and decided this was the best way to combat my obsessiveness. we were both kind of drunk when he started it and he had me in tears i was...
theruth:
if you are ever selected to be featured on the show bridezillas, take that as a sign that you are a cunt.
Too easy, ruthert.
ron livingston should be more famous.
theruth:
i’m watching one of my favorite series “band of brothers” on the history channel and it reminded me of my college friend, noah. during the war, his grandfather’s regiment stumbled upon and raided the home of hitler bff hermann goring. while they were their, his grandfather managed to snag some of goring’s personalized stationary. as he told the story, if anyone in his family got into a...
“Too few people understand a really good sandwich.”
– James Beard (via theruth)
Thanks Jimbo… Ruth’s about to get one of the knuckle variety if she doesn’t get her shit together.
